Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
