when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
