i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
