she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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