So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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