dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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