is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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