Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
