I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
