Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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