yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
