And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
