i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
