I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
