I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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