if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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