Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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