can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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