That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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