Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
