Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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