you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
