Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
