you mean i was at the winter classic?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
