Rock
Scissors
Fuck
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
