Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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