I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
