dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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