I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
