I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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