Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
