it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
