I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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