hell yes lets make some ravioli
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
