That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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