i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
