You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
