maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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