Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't put those talents on a resume
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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