it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
