Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
