Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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