he puts the penis in happiness.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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