There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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