This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
