party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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