I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Randomize
