You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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