I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
