dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
