I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
