i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
