Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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