obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Houston, we have a blender
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
