I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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